I'm writing this week's Garbage Plate from my grave where I'm doused in sausage and mustard sauce, and loving it. Here's the most toxic news of the week.
Ground beef: We have an exculsive look at Scarlett Johansson's baby bump! It's right below the cleavage which is actually the focus of this article.
Macaroni Salad That's right, we broke the story on the woman with the large butt dressed like a burlesque skunk.
Baked Beans: Jennie Garth opened up about her past with Shannen Dougherty, roughly twenty-five years after the fact.
Onion: Jessica Simpson. Two toned Legs. One photo where we can't really see her legs. We broke the story.
Home fries: Kendall Jenner in her underwear again. And Kim Kardashian saying how proud she is that Kendall is living her dream. And Kim and Kendall snot-rocketing into each others' noses.
Egg: Don't forget that every article regarding Robin Thicke and Paula Patton MUST be entitled "Blurred Lines."
Now go forth in vomit and the spirit of life.