Since E! requires a certain amount of posts to go up each day, writers will often create them in advance, and schedule them to be published at a later date. But today when we went into our data base, we discovered something that shocked us even more than who wore cream-colored pants to the gas station, and all "Who Wore It Best?" polls combined. We've unearthed an entire queue of articles scheduled to go out in the extremely distant future. Here's a glimpse at the headlines you can expect to see when you're old and grey, scrolling through our web site in hologramed Zubaz.
Kendall Jenner Has Finally "Rocked" Every Runway
Cockroaches and Bethenny Frankel Survive Apocalypse (In Talks To Host Web-Based Talk Show)
Farrah Abraham: "I'll Do Another Sex Tape For 2,000 Bitcoins!"
Justin Bieber Still Rotting In A Corner At Bennigan's
Miley At 75: Masturbating Down Memory Lane
Courtney Stodden Statue Not Supposed To Look Like A Bag Of Tennis Balls
Jennifer Aniston (Barely) Remembers "Friends"
Harry Styles Tweets, "I'm Moving In One Direction...And That's Florida! LOL!"
Charlie Sheen Can't Get Enough Of (_________) - TBD
Kim Sets The Record Straight: "I Did Not Have A Robot Butt Implanted Into My Real Butt"
Amanda Bynes Says, "Leave Me Alone, I'm An Attorney Now"
Beyonce's New Haircut: How Medium-Length Is It?
Kris JennerTalks To Porcelain Dolls...Says They Need Nose Jobs
There you have it. The futurE!. Oh, and Mariah Carey gets even more into Disney, and screams things like, "But I'm a princess!" while eating wedding cake with birds. It's a treat.