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    Shut up, Congresswoman. Bieber is Happening.

    When it comes to the 24 hour news business, there are two kinds of stories: One is the kind you have to talk about because it's an ongoing story. Maybe it's important, maybe it's not. Maybe it's interesting, maybe it's not. Ratings? Meh.

    The other is breaking news so sensational, so sexy that CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News know they'll be able to talk about it almost nonstop for like a week. When news like that breaks two things happen: 1) Everyone at the network gets huger boners. Even the ladies. 2) Every other news story gets shoved into the discard pile.

    Cut to MSNBC. Former Congresswoman Jane Harman is in the middle of an interview with host Andrea Mitchell. Their topic? Whether or not the NSA's practice of gathering massive amounts of civilian phone data should be ended completely. Arguably, something that affects us all. That's when it happened. News boner city. Let's go to the tape.

    Andrea Mitchell just became Kanye to Jane Harman's Taylor Swift. "Jane, I'ma let you finish but Justin Bieber's DUI drag race is the most important news story of all time."

    RATINGS!

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