We have to imagine that somehow Bart Simpson named this man.

Our favorite line is, "Mainus is ready to pounce."

It is truly unfortunate that the other fighter wasn't named "Hizdick." The fact that the line "Hizdick has pinned down Mainus" is a travesty. It should be a new MMA rule that all fighters have sexually suggestive nicknames. We're currently drafting up a petition to get that put into place.