Good news, Kirstie Alley fans! Kirstie's put Fat Actress and Kirstie Alley's Big Life behind her, and is making her return to television with yet another show featuring a slightly skewed version of herself. We know that right now Kirstie's fans are dying to know how this show will differentiate itself from the handful of seemingly similar Kirstie Alley shows of the past. So we've set our Organic Liaison supplements aside for the moment to answer all of your most pressing, Kirstie-related questions.
Will Kirstie have a laugh track? Yes, but it was taped during a live performance (of Seinfeld).
The show is called Kirstie. Is her character's name Kirstie? No. Her character's name is Madison Banks.
Then why is the show called Kirstie?
Will she have any emotional meltdowns resulting in life-changing epiphanies? Yes, but don't worry, she'll never evolve.
Who will she reunite with? Everyone.
I heard Michael Richards is involved. Will there be any racial comedy? No. This is all about Kirstie losing weight. That said, he did drop some n-bombs last week at craft services.
Does she ever burst into the kitchen, throw her arms in the air, and exclaim, "I'M BAAAAAACK!" Kirstie does this every morning, every single day of her life.
Will there be more or less John Travolta? A little more in than in Fat Actress and but less than in Look Who's Talking Now. He'll get about the same amount of face time as Kirstie has spent pondering whether she wants to keep chunky highlights.
I loved Kirstie Alley in those commercials for people suffering with bladder leakage. Will incontinence be a running theme in the show? We can't say, but answering this question would spoil episodes 1-9.
Will Kirstie be fun-loving? Yes, but not if you cross her path before she's had her coffee! Kirstie plans on mixing fun-loving with a splash of sass. It's like nothing you've ever seen before (unless you've seen Kirstie Alley's Big Life or her ads for Jenny Craig).
Will she wear magenta? YES. Kirstie will incorporate it in any way she can, even by adding raspberries to her Activia.
Congratulations, Kirstie. And welcome baaaaaack.