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    You Poor, Unfortunate Souls

    Good news, everyone! A 3D interactive rerelease of The Little Mermaid is on its way to theaters. Wait, interactive? What does that mean? Terrible things. We'll let the commercial explain...

    That's right, this time you're going to be able to sit in a movie theater and watch two screens at once--just like you do at home. That means you'll be even more a part of Ariel's world, while destroying even more of your attention span. All you have to do is download the app, bring your iPad to the theater, and teach your kids that a movie isn't an adequate form of entertainment unless it involves the digital equivalent of three-card monte.

    Here are some other movies with interactive versions coming soon to theaters:

    Small Time Crooks—You control how many times Woody Allen stammers to get his line out

    Sex And The CIty 2—Click on a Prada bag every time there's a pun involving labias

    He's Just Not That Into You—Keep count of the hundreds of actors playing lead roles

    Les Miserables—See who in the audience can sing over Russell Crowe the loudest

    Pacific Rim—Look every single actor up on IMDB

    We're The Millers—Make the movie better by doing something else while it's on

    The Social Network—You can actually log into Facebook while watching The Social Network!

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