By now, it's common knowledge that Law & Order: SVU rips its stories straight from the headlines.  Still, some people are shocked that they had the audacity to combine two of the biggest stories of the year: the killing of Trayvon Martin and the colossal downfall of Paula Deen.

True to form, we uncovered some inside information on more upcoming episodes—and it looks like they've taken their current event mash-ups to a whole new level.



Ep. 1

A professional athlete by the name of Flamar Dodum marries into a rich and famous family, but ends up trading it all for crack cocaine. While high, he uncovers that the reason an aging pop star has acquired a strange mouth accessory is to cover up the fact that she needs dentures.

Ep. 2

A basketball coach named Harry Slamdunksky is convicted of sexual abuse and sentenced to 30-60 years in prison.  While incarcerated, he hears that a popular cookie called a Double-Filled ORBEO is convicted for not actually being double-filled. Slamdunsky then changes the dessert portion of his hypothetical, final meal to Snackwells.  

Ep 3.

A gaggle of reality stars make sex tapes. A Canadian pop star uses all the sex tapes and makes a music video. Then someone gets murdered.

Ep. 4

A child star is accused of stealing a very expensive necklace. The only thing that calms her mind is reading a Twitter tirade written by a puffy real estate mogul named Ronald Blump.

Ep. 5

During a high-profile awards show, our culture is murdered. No one noticed because they were too busy marveling at the fact that a donut and a croissant came together to create the Doissant. 

And yes, Ice-T thinks it's pretty messed up. Dun-dun. 

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