First of all, let's all take a moment to applaud Chris Hansen for creating another vital journalistic masterpiece.
Second of all, Robert Pattinson looks TERRIBLE in this video. We're guessing he's either putting on weight for a biopic of Kevin Smith, or he finally ate Kristen Stewart.
Now, some of you might be skeptical as to whether or not this man is an ACTUAL vampire. We have done some investigating and here are a few things that tipped us off that this guy is the real deal:
1. When asked if he is a vampire, he confirmed that he is a vampire. Why would he say that he's a vampire if he isn't indeed a vampire?
2. He has in-depth knowledge of vampires. He knows that while vampires don't need blood to SURVIVE, they do need to it stay healthy. We're surprised he hasn't tried Whole Foods new Human Blood pills, which are packed with both Omega-3 fatty acids and Omega-3 fatty blood.