One day this guy walked in to a pet shop. Whether or not he actually asked for the biggest dog ever remains a mystery. What is clear though is that he got THE BIGGEST F*CKING DOG EVER.
That dog is so big, it picks up your poop on walks.
That dog is so damn enormous, it goes to work everyday and tells you to be good before it locks the door, gets in the car, and drives away.
This dog is so crazy huge, it complains about you shedding your hair everywhere (Incidently, you're shedding your hair because you're nervous about how big your dog is).
That dog is so gigantic the only things it can be friends with are big ass horses.
That dog is so ridiculously over-sized, it refers to the dire wolves on Game of Thrones as "The Lil Peanuts".
I'm saying this dog is big, folks. It's a real big dog.