Disney princesses hold a special place in our American mythos. For better or worse, it's the feminine archetype that many little girls (and some boys, and more than a few grown adults) hold up as their ideal. These characters are so thoroughly ingrained in our culture that they've become the go-to subject of almost daily Internet articles/lists on Buzzfeed. Seriously, go check. There's like a bazillion of them. And here's one more!
We certainly understand the fascination; the life of a princess seems an enviable one. Prancing hither and thither, making new friends with the native wildlife, singing along to the convenient incidental music and having their heads spontaneously combust. Wait, what was that last one?
If you enjoy the concept of fiery, ignoble ends for these irritatingly upbeat damsels but can do without the ubiquitous Disney tremolo, here's a quick recap of the gory bits for you, sans singing.
Now that these animated classics have been properly befouled by gratuitous violence, why not extend the treatment to some real life actresses, and besmirch their most remembered roles as well?
We bear none of these fictional characters and ill will but must admit that watching their noggins go nuclear fills us with a special brand of unadulterated glee.
Good luck finding your Prince Charming without eyeballs, ladies. If you'd be willing to lower your standards, though, The Headless Horseman is actually a really tender and nurturing guy.