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    Golden Noldies

    Making good on a promise he originally made in 1984 and then again, less iconically in 1991 and 2003, Arnold Schwarzeneggar will indeed be back. Again. At the premiere for The Last Stand, the actor-cum-politician-cum-actor-once-more somewhat unenthusiastically intimated his involvement in not one, not two, but three sequels to some of the original film franchises that helped make him a household name.

     

     

    Another Terminator sequel was pretty much inevitable. A reprisal as Conan could be interesting, if done right, but Triplets? That seems an indication that Noldy is up for beating pretty much any horse, alive or dead. If he's come this far along in the process already, we see no harm in suggesting a few other roles he might as well reprise while he's at it.


    The Running Man 2: Keeping Up With the Apocalypse

    Having intimate knowledge of how the game is played, Ben Richards forsakes his moral imperative and becomes a consulting producer on the re-boot of The Running Man. Instead of using prisoners, the show now holds nationwide auditions that people eagerly turn up in the thousands to participate in. Most don't want to actually engage in blood sport; they just want attention.

    Catchphrase: "Congratulations dawg. You killed in that audition."


    Partial Recall

    Having saved Mars, then retired in relative tranquility, Douglas Quaid once again turns to the recall chair, to help him remember where he left his keys and remind him to buy more Depends.

    Catchphrase: "See you at the party. But...I may be a little late."


    Commando: Justifiable Homicide

    Alyssa Milano gets abducted by another would-be dictator from Arnold's past but Arnold just watches a Murder She Wrote marathon, rather than saving her because c'mon, she's in her forties now and she should be able to take care of herself. Leaving the nest will be probably good for her anyways.

    Catchphrase: "Remember when I promised to only watch one more episode? I lied."


    Predator vs. Prey

    Pretty much the same premise as the previous Predator movies but now riding the wave of success enjoyed by torture porn movies like Saw and Hostel. Basically, it's two hours of a super-strong alien with unparalleled weaponry, casually kicking Arnold over as he tries to hobble away.

    Catchphrase: "NO! STAHP IT! STAAAHP! DAT"S RUUUDE!"


    Hercules In New York Again

    On second thought, don't do this one. No need to mess with a classic.

     

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