Do you hear that? It sounds like a siren in the distance. Or is that crying? Hey, it's the Whambulance! Some Good Samaritan must've placed a call about our ruptured moral compass.


The Patriot captioned


Okay, let's everybody take a breath. To be clear, the pubescent patriot who was the focus of our offhanded remarks is a national treasure, as far as we're concerned. We meant no disrespect. For the further sake of clarity, please keep in mind that 'hooking up' can mean all manner of things, more especially amongst teenagers. So, while we see your point, we don't see much harm in implying that this kid might've learned to French kiss or copped a palm-full of someone else's palm as a result of his quick-witted recovery. If anyone's earned an awkward, slobbery make-out session in their parents' garage, it's this guy.

Admittedly, teenage sexuality is a tricky subject. Many would prefer to pretend that coming of age doesn't involve angst in the pants but, as any teenager whose ever used his school binder as crotch-camouflage can tell you, nothing could be further from the truth. We're not endorsing teenage pregnancy or calling for the abolition of purity rings; we're just acknowledging the very real possibility of some run-of-the-mill, wholesome hanky-panky.

In summation, you said it, not us. You should probably get your mind out of the gutter.

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