The worst nightmare for most junior high school cymbalists is pitching an unexpected tent in their pants during the William Tell Overture. And, for the remainder of junior high school cymbalists, it's this.

That said, the hero of this Star Spangled Banner dominated on the cymbals, and when fate stepped in, improvised in an unbelievably respectful manner. (Kardashians who need a script just to google "anal bleaching":  please take note.)

Still, we've seen Homeland and don't really buy it. See those fingers? The boy is clearly sending messages to the Chess Team. And he's definitely hooking up with the blonde.

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