Teen Mom is MTV's biggest cautionary tale against the dangers of unprotected reality show participation. After five seasons of airing this hour-long Trojan commercial, MTV has given birth (so to speak) to the careers of many new sexually and/or criminally active reality stars.
But how do the graduates of the Teen Mom training program perform in the real world? Let's catch up with some of their most prominent alumni...
Farrah's probably had the biggest media presence lately after the release of her private sex tape — or should we say "private" "sex" "tape" — Backdoor Teen Mom. The tape sold to Vivid entertainment for $1.5 million, immediately after which Farrah was spotted driving a new $400K Lamborghini, despite our insistence that it loses $100K in value the moment you drive it off the lot.
Farrah was pleased to learn that her sex tape broke the record for downloads previously held by another reality star who shall not be named (Voldemort). Farrah also just inked a six figure diet pill endorsement — perhaps following in the footsteps of Voldemort's Trimspa deal.
Jenelle's been arrested 9 times in 3 years, is estranged from the husband she married after a few months, and no longer has custody of her child. Most recently Jenelle was arrested on charges of assaulting said estranged husband and possession of 12 bindles of heroin. She dropped out shortly after entering rehab because she told Dr. Drew she's not addicted to drugs, she's "addicted to relationships." You could say Jenelle's not doing so well – I mean, she had to talk to Dr. Drew, for Christ's sake.
Amber is currently serving a 5-year prison sentence for violating parole and refusing to attend rehab. That's right, she chose prison over rehab (maybe the food is better?). She participates in her prison's extracurricular activities, is a member of the prison choir, and teaches anger management classes to fellow prisoners. Also, she has this tattoo:
All in all, you could say things are going pretty well for Amber!
Catelyn is doing perhaps the best out of all the Teen Moms, having given her baby up for adoption right after her pregnancy. She graduated high school, is working towards a degree, and she and the child's father maintain contact through an open adoption. Recently Catelynn took a turn for the worse when she was rumored to be appearing on Vh1's Couples Therapy with her boyfriend. Being emotionally healthy doesn't pay the bills, y'all!