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    Tan Mom: Frying In The Spotlight

    Patricia Krentcil knows that in order to make it in Hollywood, you need hard work, dedication, and a god-given talent for drunkenly begging the receptionists at Bronze Buns for a fifteen minute session in exchange for your first-born child. That's why when the president of Vivid declined her offer to star in her own adult film, she took a smaller role in a gay porno, knowing it would lead to lateral things.

    But what most people don't know, and Tan Mom will never remember, is that her sweaty bikini line has already left stains on the backgrounds of several other movies!* So, until we can enjoy her in her darkest role ever, let's take a stumble down memory lane.

    Tanning Mom, Patricia Krentcil PacificCoastNews.com

    This appearance went surprisingly unnoticed, but James Franco's character in Spring Breakers didn't just bail the college girls out of jail. Patricia's cameo symbolized a loss of innocence, while also fulfilling a product placement agreement for the KFC Pot Pie.

    spring breakers pat

    Patricia felt right at home on the set of Backdraft. Already burned beyond recognition, she used the opportunity to blame her appearance on arson.

    backpat

    Ah, and then there was Spaceballs. Sure, Patricia looked smoking hot on the desert, but her off-camera sexual advances were still refused by Yogurt.

    combingpat

    *Sources have just confirmed it was a basketball, NOT Patricia, that washed up on shore in Cast Away.

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