If you felt the world stop spinning for a moment, it was because Kanye West hit his head on a metal sign while walking into a Beverly Hills restaurant Friday afternoon. He must have been blinded by love for the world's most luminous, magnificent, special, talented human being: himself.
The only thing Kanye injured was his pride, but the pain seemed to awaken some real emotions in Kanye. Luckily, human garbage receptacles—what we call "paparazzi"—were around to take the heat for it.
I love how the paparazzo follows him inside while saying, "You want me to leave, I'll leave Kanye!"
If by "leave," you mean, "follow you around forever and ever and be best friends and be in the delivery room when the baby comes and maybe eat a part of the placenta like I got to do for pop singer Tiffany before the restraining order and then I kill you and wear your skin as a suit and live in your house and marry your Mom." But only if you want me to!