Kim Kardashian's style choices weren't the only thing getting hammered at the Met Gala—sources say Tiger Woods was laying heavily on the sauce. According to Us Weekly, Tiger got so crunk he actually fell UP the stairs at one point and had to wait for girlfriend Lindsey Vonn to come help him.
But the biggest proof of Tiger's tipsiness is in the pudding—pudding soaked in 80 proof alcohol. Photos from the Met Gala tell the story of Tiger's progressively smashed state. Let's examine the 6 stages of drunk Tiger Woods:
STAGE 1: FEELIN' NO PAIN
At this point, Tiger is just enjoying himself, enjoying the new blonde on his arm, enjoying not being in the news for cheating (of any kind). This is (almost) better than Ambien!
STAGE 2: BLOODSHOT
Tiger's eyes are turning the same color as the carpet, and he has the distracted look of a man whose flask is empty. Will his girlfriend stop taking selfies so he can find the bar with the shortest line?!
STAGE 3: TOP OF HIS GAME
This party is funnnnn! I love fashion, I love old fashioneds, and I love you, Elin...er--Lindsey. Elindsey. Ayayi! Elindsey! Let's do tequila shots!
STAGE 4: EYE OF THE TIGER
Tiger's reached his peak and as always happens when he's under the influence, his eye starts to wander (but only the right one). Things could go downhill quickly.
STAGE 5: ON THE GREEN
Uh oh. Tequila shots no bueno. Everything is spinning...turning green...just focus on this pretty lady in front of me...Lindsey? Lindsey. Lindsey Lindsey
STAGE 6: HANDICAPPED
Panic.Setting.In....Must.Leave.Now...Might.Sh*t.Pants...too late. Darkness.