We're coming off a dry patch for Whambulance Wednesdays, what with people being mostly civil and articulate these past few weeks. The odd Grammar Nazi delivered a few light kicks to the ribs here and there, for a confused clause or an 'e' before 'i' but otherwise, we've been cruising along, relatively and resentfully unscathed.
So it's with some measure of perverse gratitude that we now turn our attention to someone who strongly disagreed with our choice for last week's Caption This! winner. By way of context, here is winner Adam Shelton's apparently contentious offering:
And here is what a fellow contestant thinks about that.
Sour grapes, my friend. Or you're just not a Shel Silverstein fan. You're correct about one thing though; we do close our eyes to choose a winner.
Every Friday, the Soup Staff congregates in an idyllic park near our offices, join hands to form a faerie ring, and begin the Chant of Choosing. After, say, 20 or 30 minutes of focusing energy from the ether, The Cipher is revealed (usually a janitor but one time a Scottish Terrier who happened to be pooping nearby) and begins to speak in tongues. This inevitably culminates with the shouted repetition of a single string of vowel sounds. The ritual completed, we return to our offices to comb through the comments section and find the name that most closely resembles The Cipher's Mantra.
So now you know. It's not a flippant decision but a very precise and archaic process that is 100% infallible. Hopefully you'll rest easier now, knowing that the Universe isn't entirely random.
Also, read The Giving Tree. It's got a great message about not taking free sh*t for granted.