Once upon a time in Anaheim, California, Mariah Carey ruled a magical place geared toward six year olds where she renewed her vows to Prince Nicholas Cannon of America's Got Talentland. With the entire family in fairytale attire, the couple re-exchanged their promises to always remember to always put their hearts before their rainbow-cherry waterfalls. Then they grabbed their Fastpasses and hopped on a unicorn-drawn carriage to a very special place where they had sex above a gift shop.
We were so intrigued by the mind behind this royal event, we couldn't help but take a ride of our own into an anatomical breakdown of the brain of the princess herself!
Without further ado, we present:
THE ROYAL BRAIN OF MARIAH CAREY (from the flattering side)
To her credit, Nicki sent the couple a congratulatory pig's heart from Williams-Sonoma...just so things wouldn't be awkward on Monday.