• Share
  • Tweet
  • Share

Mother Earth is celebrating her 6,000 birthday, *again*, so we thought we'd honor her with a little roast (and no, we don't mean slowly heating her surface until she becomes uninhabitable). Here are Earth's 25 Most Embarrassing Moments of all time, in no particular order...

1. ANY Volcanic Outgassing (especially during sex)

2. Supercontinent Pangaea

3. Slavery (all)

4. Glitter



5. Genghis Khan's "fur phase"

6. When Miranda said, "Abu dhabi-doooo!"

7. Bubonic plague wiping out only 10% of the human race


8. The Cambrian explosion (blame the fire sauce)

9. The new Brad Paisley song

10. Parting of the "Red Sea"--and no tampons!

11. When this happened:

dogs humping

12. Small pox blankets

13. Deep-fried butter

14. When Blobfish were born


15. When the dirt from your condensation tunnel goes everywhere

16. Sarah Palin

17. Thundering forever but you can't make lightning


so sorry

18. The invention of Jorts

19. Franz Ferdinand (the man AND the band)

20. The Spanish Inquisition


Earth Inquisition

21. Friendster

22. Homer not having a better editor

23. Finding a date for Ganesh


24. The Crusades (all except the last one)

25. When James Franco and Anne Hathaway hosted the Oscars