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    Gil & Phil & Snoop Dogg

    PHIL AND GIL

    Gil: Say, everybody. We're Gil and Phil.

    Phil: We flew in from the Catskills and boy, are our jokes tired!

    Gil: Make sure to leave a little something for your waitstaff.

    Phil: And make it more than "just the tip."

    Gil: Anyway, we heard the awful news about Snoop Dogg's 4/20 party getting shut down!

    Phil: In other words, he blacked out.

    Gil: Well, I was sad to hear about police shutting down Farrah Abraham's sex party. 

    Phil: They had to! Someone forgot to hit "record."

    Gil: Did you hear Madonna's concert was shut down due to filthiness?

    Phil: No one cared enough to mop the venue beforehand.

    Gil: Well, it's too bad to hear the police won't let Tan Mom out in the sun.

    Phil: Yes, but now the neighbors have a tolerable view.

    Gil: Did you hear police shut down Lindsay's Klepto-party?

    Phil: By the time the guests arrived there was nothing left to steal!

    Gil: Did you know that the police arrested Gordon Ramsay for screaming?

    Phil: Everyone knows you moan when making love to beef wellington.  

    Gil: Well, did you hear that Paula Deen got arrested for using too much ranch dressing?

    Phil: Why, when there are such better remedies for vaginal dryness??

    Gil: Police also shut down the Kardashian family talent show.

    Phil: Unfortunately they don't consider "doing nothing" a talent.

    Gil: Thanks, we're here all week.

    Phil: No we're not. Everyone hates us.

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