With news of Sharon and Ozzy's split, Kim and Kris's divorce, and the postponement of Miley and Liam's wedding, the only joy we managed to scrape, like Banana Boat oil from Patricia Krentcil's body, arrived in the form of this video of a chow puppy trying to escape from a bowl. So, as we enter a new era of our vicariously lived, unmarried time on Earth, let's take a moment for a nuptial benediction of what were once the most eligible links of the week.
FROM THE SOUP TV
In a poll of most-hated celebrities, Gwyneth ranked Number Of the Beast.
If you stare at Beyonce's dress you can see your future, in which there are shimmering breasts.
Kim will always be a legend in Hollywood, and also in Alberta, Canada.
Linday Lohan looks rather pale when she's sober. In fact, she appears almost transparent.
We cringed as Psy made an effort to recreate what we found entertaining the first time.
Ryan Lochte now the ranks the 15th stupidest person with a reality show on E!
Guess what has zero thumbs yet the most intense aversion to Splash.
We learned from Amanda Bynes that dogs and cats have duckfaces, too.
FROM AROUND THE WEB
Justin Bieber and will.i.am are such great friends, Justin even half-showed-up for this video.
According to Frankie, it's technically not a Fancy Feast unless it comes with tartar sauce.
Until one of her shows needs an extra story line, Kim and Kris are officially divorced.