People are worried about Amanda Bynes. She's experimenting with piercings and hair color, taking tons of selfies, and posting every uncensored thought on Twitter. So, she's basically...every American teenager? It would make sense, considering Hollywood stole her childhood, that Amanda's just going through a delayed adolescence. Or maybe this is all an elaborate performance-art piece? Or maybe she's crying out for help and we're all just talking about how crazy she is and not doing actually doing anything to help. That sounds like us, so it's totally possible.
Regardless, her Twitter feed has become a 24-hour-a-day marathon of material for her upcoming Lifetime Movie. First there was the strange video she posted with the caption "Sucking on a Sour Patch Kid Listening to Music Getting Ready for Tonight." Sour Patch Kids are sold over the counter, right?
Then she began disclosing her intimate indiscretions.
I can't wait to go down on this food? Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 13, 2013
Then she went after the heart center of the media, Perez Hilton...
@perezhilton Just because u talk about stars all day & pick terrible photos of us doesn't make u famous! Ur face is ugly even @ ur thinnest!? Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 13, 2013
Actually, she sounds pretty lucid.
But in fact, it was Perez's photo-choosing skills she resented most...
@perezhilton leave me alone! You are the scum of the earth!! Pick better photos fucker!? Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 12, 2013
She demanded to co-sign for ALL photos of her appearing on the internet...
We look awful, I look fat in that photo you chose, which doesn't help my eating disorder. I'm with my assistant Nadia @collegecandy? Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 17, 2013
And questioned a magazine for referring to her "erratic behavior" (erotic behavior, she's fine with)...
Finally, she took a selfie that satisfied her.
I love this one! I don't look so obese! Haha!twitpic.com/ck2h5c? Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 17, 2013
And then a few more, highlighting her "thick brows." (should anyone tell her those are glasses???)
And that's when the photoshop nightmare began. Don't read on if you have any respect for graphic arts...
Did Amanda make this? Her intern? Her Sour Patch dealer?
At least THESE are photos she finds flattering.
Then came the fan tribute art...A fever dream Elmo? Sure, why not.
Here's Drake taking a vow to murder Amanda's vagina 'til death
Okay, this should keep her mentally grounded.
And finally, a long rant in which she name-checks her ex Kid Cudi, criticizes Aubrey Plaza's cover photo and promises to drop a "sick" album.
Thank GOD twitter found a way to allow more than 140 characters. Well, we better get some sleep if we're going to be up tonight for Round 2!