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Since we can't induce Kim Kardashian's labor, or single-handedly add queso to the menu at Chipotle, we must learn to embrace this week's holding pattern as part of the blissful unknown. Yes, instead of circling Mr. Chow like millions of ever-multiplying wasps swarming a twenty-one foot nest, , let's balance here, poised like a boulder at the edge of Coco's non-existent butt implant, and commemorate this week's stasis with a stunningly eclectic link round-up.

FROM THE SOUP TV

LL Cool J, Brad Paisley

Jerod Harris/ACMA2013/Getty Images

We couldn't believe the curves Kim rocked this week in North Korea.

Adoring fans gathered for the premiere of Robert Downey Jr.'s penis. 

Angelina ventured to Wal-Mart to save the lives of eight more children! 

We introduced Farrah Abraham to friends both new and used and buy one, get one free.

This tattooee has so much talent, she's ready for her own show on E!.

Long gone are the days that Justin and Michelle could braid each other's hair.

Unfortunately, you can't take the country song out of the country song. But you can always trace it back to the 1920s!

Idaho's favorite local weatherman dropped cold fronts like they were a suitable bath temperature.

AND, for all those concerned, GIF sanity has been restored!

 

FROM AROUND THE WEB

Teen Swag

Because women like a man who smells like he spends all day bewildering people on Twitter.

These are the best years of your lives. LIKE as many posts as you can!

Sean Combs did not, in fact, P. diddle Kate Upton.

Don't spend all your bitcoins on helping Greece getting out of debt!