Wherever there is blandness, he is there. Wherever patties cry out for adornment, he is there. He is flavor. He is freedom. He is Captain Condiment.
He's also sort of on trial at the moment, for beating the Hamburglar to death.
Have a better caption for this gallant guardian of garnish? Pile ‘em on, in the comments section below. The owner of the funniest and most original submission will be celebrated on our site and Facebook page; not only as the hero our website deserves but also the one it needs right now. Be sure to have your ideas in by Thursday at midnight.