Welcome to The Soup's Top 13 of 2013, where we count down the top Soup posts of the year. Because the end of the year isn't about dumb stuff like family and goodwill. It's about making lists of things.
The Top 13 posts were determined by popularity in page views among you, our readers. So don't blame us.
#13: Madonna: Too Close
When she's not busy drinking health shakes made from acai berry, Kardashian placentas, and formaldehyde, Madonna enjoys spending time on social media. Last week everyone's favorite Material Matron joined Instagram and brought her lack of respect for our gag reflexes to a brand new platform. Already her timeline's full of choice close-ups of the body parts she hand-picked herself at the morgue.
First she gave us the rack focus, glistening with pilates sweat:
Then there was the up-thong taken from behind:
That's when the selfies started getting REALLY uncomfortable.
Fisting, anyone?? #redcarpet
Oh Madonna, you and your famous sense of humor.
But probably the most upsetting was this…
Fully shaved and ready for action ;) #RhymesWithMadge
Knowing it was just her armpit didn't make it any less gross.
Careful Madonna – you're walking a fine line between sexual harassment and full-on eye rape (though if you're one of her 100K + followers, I'm afraid it's considered consensual).
Editor's Note: This one probably made the list of top posts due to the large percentage of medical professionals in our readership wondering "DEAR GOD WHAT IS THAT"