Here's what you missed while you were struggling to find meaning in a chaotic world. Oh wait – that wasn't you. That was Brian Williams. You were struggling to find mustard in a party sub.
FROM THE SOUP TV
The King of Reawrrrr himself joined us in studio, and even in bloopers he was resplendent: Brian Williams on The Soup
The Hatchet Hitchhiker, AKA White Antoine Dodson, took the internet by storm: Kai the Hatchet Hitchhiker
Community's Jim Rash attends college in his pajamas! Drag pajamas!: RuPaul's Drag Community College
Crappy Valentine's Day Groupons that will guarantee even your blow-up doll gets a headache: Eat sushi off of Octomom!
Our new day-of-the-week segments, to match your underwear:
Chris Harrison's unpublished Bachelor poetry, or rantings of a syphilitic madman? Chris Harrison's Bachelor poems
We rate the Super Bowl ads using a sophisticated algorithm and also clip art: Rating the Super Bowl Ads
FROM AROUND THE WEB
George W. Bush (yeah, that George W. Bush) reveals his inner artist, love for bathing: Dubya paintings
RIP, Monopoly iron. Now what is pregnant, barefoot Monopoly woman going to hold? They replaced it with a Monopoly cat
Jennifer Love Hewitt made a sexy music video for her TV show… She's a woman, apparently