Though creepy makeshift totem poles could potentially leave one at a loss for words, such was not the case for all you submitters this week and for that, we're mighty grateful. We've put our heads together in grueling deliberation and are happy to announce that we've found a winner!
Congratulations Ari! The last thing the world needs right now is Octomom making yet another ill-advised decision. Thank you, also, to everyone else who contributed. Be sure to keep those rapier wits unsheathed for next week's contest.