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Chris Harrison: Bard Of Bachelor Mansion

The Bachelor Poems

"Lindsay didn't freak out when they walked out of that door to find Tierra crouched in the dark corner like a scary hobo goblin ready to pounce on them…"

—Sir Chris Harrison

Chris Harrison will undoubtedly go down in history as just as much a pillar of the Romantic Movement as Sir Edgar Allan Poe. Known for exposing the macabre tales of the Bachelor mansion, he gleans inspiration from his twenty-five muses and unleashes them in fiery, yet extraordinarily tidy stanzas.

In addition to his most acclaimed works—"The Bungee Cord And The Pendulum," and "The Tell-Tale Women Tell All"—his date cards will be remembered for the terror they evoked, and the font no one could quite distinguish from normal handwriting.

Lindsay's extemporaneous reading of Chris' two-on-one date card chilled so many to their cores, we've decided to bring his unpublished poems to the masses.

The Bachelor Poems
The Bachelor Poems
The Bachelor Poems
The Bachelor Poems

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