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Breaking Ads

People who thought the Super Bowl ads were sub-par obviously missed the incredible, sponsored blackout. Congratulations to Jim's Generators for a truly unparalleled ad experience. As for the rest, we took the liberty of ranking them with a system as inconsistent as the bowel movements of Americans today.

AUDI PUBERTY PROM


Emotional Manipulation
Football Ratings Soup
Appeal to Nerds
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Forgetability
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SHOCK VALUE WITH BAR REFAELI


Appeal to Nerds
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Vulnerability
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Bonerability
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BABY CLYDESDALES LOVE BUDWEISER


Clarity of Message
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Bestiality Quotient
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Sarah McLachlan Effect
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SEXY FISH SERENADES SEXY BEER


Reliance on Song
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Bestiality Quotient
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Effectiveness as an Ad for Sushi
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GRANDMA'S GORDITA CRUNCH


Exploitation of the Elderly
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Licensing of Top 40 Hit
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Actual Tacos Shown
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PSY and Dancing Legumes


Backup Dancer Employment
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Relevance to Product
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Jumping the Shark Style
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Sponsored by Tom Cruise


Desperate Actor Employment
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Disappointed Parents
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Creative Direction by Xenu
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