In case you were preoccupied planning a Jumbotron proposal for your fraudulent, dying Valentine, do not despair. We kept our heads in the game, with some help from testosterone, cortisone, and, of course, the hottest new celebrity trend—House Fires!!
From The Soup TV
What was Mel thinking during Jodie Foster's speech? He hasn't been this likeable since his performance in What Women Want.
We hope the Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey feud never dies. But if it does, we suspect Minaj will turn it into a wig.
The world will be infused with fresh tigerblood, and Charlie Sheen will soon be winning at Bingo Night.
In memory of Lennay Kekua, we made some sh*t up, too.
These Golden Globe winners were so incredibly talented at sticking to their notes!
Leave a girl alone with The Bachelor and a helicopter, and the possibilities are endless (and may involve taxidermy).
From Around the Web
In Ke$ha's new video, she quits her job at a diner called Awful House, which may be a shout-out to the production company.
Subway needs more bread and LESS LIES!!
Lance Armstrong admitted to using drugs before competing in races and watching Oprah's Favorite Things.
Sharon Osbourne shifted her anger from Lady Gaga to Yankee Candle Company.