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SNOOKI AND JIONNI: A ROMANCE TO VAGUELY REMEMBER

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi, Jionni LaValle Sara Jaye Weiss/StartraksPhoto.com

Now that Snooki's officially a mom, requiring her to fist-pump every two to three hours, we took it upon ourselves to stroll down the scabies- and memory-inducing sands of Jersey Shore, and in doing so, stumbled upon some striking connections between Snooki and Jionni's love story and some of the greatest romances of all time. We'd like to shine a light on those now, since this could be our last chance to celebrate their love before turning our aggression toward their innocent baby.

 

ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA

With Snooki from Poughkeepsie and Jionni from East Hanover , the star-crossed lovers have overcome far greater strife than the Greco-Roman War. Crossing enemy lines just to crash on her futon, Jionni, like Antony, found himself falling for Snooki because of her penchant for excessive amounts of liquid eyeliner.

Elizabeth Taylor, Cleopatra 20th Century Fox

HARRY AND SALLY

Together, they prove Harry's theory that men and women can't be friends until one gets a UTI from butt sex.

When Harry Met Sally Castle Rock Entertainment

WILLIAM AND KATE

The royal couple introduced themselves by kissing on the balcony, whereas Snooki's urine has kissed the actual balcony.

Prince William, Kate Middleton, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge WPA - David Crump/Getty Images

JACK AND ROSE

Both couples consummated their love during the most horrific maritime disasters of all time, on the sinking ships known as The Titanic and Jersey Shore

Titanic, Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio 20th Century Fox

BERT AND ERNIE

Snooki and Jionni resemble Bert and Ernie down to a tee; except in this case, the orange one never bathes.

Ernie, Bert, Sesame Street

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