In a rare and heroic attempt to join the internet in spreading the McKayla Is Not Impressed meme (the one featuring the tightly-wound gymnast brooding in her silver medal as if wondering whether to deactivate a bomb), we learned that we also possessed the ability to paste McKayla Maroney into some pretty absurd situations! But somewhere during the process of excitedly scouring our archives, we accidentally found the one thing that infuses her with boundless joy. In fact, we won the gold medal in finding it, and now she hates us.
But before the big reveal, let's take a grimace down memory lane…
Not unlike the Great Wall of China, McKayla's emotions have eroded over the centuries…
"Abraham Lincoln? Call me when he addresses his boringness."
This one screams sabotage. And to make matters worse, McKayla's home-schooled--so why was she lurking at Greendale??
Here she is again, so indifferent to her fellow Olympian's perfectly amicable boner, she even chose to scowl in the opposite direction!
We even had McKayla on our show, where "SHE BITTERLY MIMES CHEWING ON STRAW" never once appeared on our teleprompter.
She didn't even budge when politely asked to donate to Mankini's tri-daily blood bath!
But after digging through our most convincing evidence of the inevitable downfall of humankind, we finally found the one thing that makes McKayla smile!
Thank you, Slut Butt! And don't let us know how we could ever repay you.