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    Polar Ice Crap

    Nightline led us deep into the bowels of the Edinburgh Zoo for a hard-hitting news story about how penguins suddenly turn into glue guns when they need to take a sh*t. They also touched on a rebellious subculture of these aquatic birds who will stare you down with their evil red eyes as they shamelessly tag your glaciers.

    After the shoot, the Pooping Punk Penguin talked the reporter's head off about how Nightline, like all things, will eventually succumb to anarchy.

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