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Let's face it. Every chicken stand lacks some good old masturbation humor. In fact, the person preparing your food is just praying you'll crack a joke about their signature dish. Yeah well, these guys might joke about it, but they only succeed at "jerking" when there's a nearby ghost

Oh, it gets better...check out what happens when the lights go out...

Oh, that guy? He's definitely familiar with raves. Animal-inspired ones in particular. Last week he was spotted outside listening to trance music with nothing but a wolf and a glowstick. You should definitely force him to hear the rhythm of the crickets. Who doesn't