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    Today: Elder Abuse, Old School

    A highlight of every Today show are Willard Scott's cheery, Smuckers-fueled birthday wishes to the ancients that walk among us. Here Willard—who must be, what ,109 himself?—salutes centenarian Dorothy, who has a special way of staying active.

    Well, at least she no longer makes them wear a ball gag.

    MORE OLD-SCHOOL STUFF: Live With Regis and Kelly: Regis Cleans Your Dishes, Ruins Your Laundry

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