The Royal Wedding is over, and it's time to go back to disliking the British. Except for the Beatles and Benny Hill, of course. Now that you have some free time, let's dig into all that Soup you missed.
1. Christina Aguilera: The premise of the new show The Voice is basically the same as every other I-want-to-be-a-star talent contest, apart from the fact that the judges can't see the performers and must make opinions based only on, yes, their voices. Aguilera, however, managed to vector in a nice young man's crotch.
One down, four to go, kids!
2. The Real World: Dustin's secret gay past becomes part of the all-too-real world, at least for his GF Heather. Thanks to the Internet, where no skeleton shall rest in peace.
3. The Celebrity Apprentice: Team Backbone is down to three men, and apparently Meat Loaf is the brains of the trio. Good luck, fellas.
5. Love Games: What do you get when you take members of the Bad Girls Club and stick them into some kind of dating show? Sex.