If you spent your week dancing in the gold of Charlie Sheen and somehow missed some Soup, let's take a moment to refresh.
1. The Bachelor: Remember sexy Rozlyn from last season, who was booted from the show for allegedly getting it on with a producer? She's back, and ready to spill on the lesson she learned from her wanton ways. How she'll clean it up is anybody's guess.
Don't stop now, kids. Four more to go!
2. The Real Housewives of Orange County: OC spouses Vicki and Tamra love their fans, and the fans love them back. Which is great. Until roofies enter the equation.
3. American Idol: Golden throat contestant Jacob Lusk hasn't always enjoyed the fame and glamor that Idol has brought him. Ryan Seacrest took a moment to look back on the singer's last job. Which sucked.
4. Survivor: Redemption Island: The Zapatera tribe is doing well. So well, they are rewarded with a feast. Good thing for famished Mike, though unfortunately the menu doesn't include sex.
5. America's Next Top Model: What do top modeling and football have in common? Nothing. But apparently the young ladies in front of the camera need to be reminded of that fact.