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Charlie Sheen's Goddesses Praise Their Master on Today

Charlie Sheen continues his Apocalypse Now–like transformation into Colonel Kurtz before our eyes, and it's only a matter of time until Captain Willard makes his way up the Nung river to put an end to the madness.

But until that day comes, let's hang with Jeff Rossen, the intrepid journalist who's infiltrated Kurtz's kingdom and will eventually serve as Willard's liaison into Kurtz's world. Here he introduces us to the goddesses.

Yup, as long as that bus is filled with enormous piles of cash, I don't care if it drives off a cliff.

WATCH THIS: Today: Ziggy Stardust and the Charlie Sheen from Mars

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