Super Bowl, Schmuper Bowl. You can eat crappy food and get drunk watching the best of your Soup week just as easily. Though there are fewer men in tight pants.
1. The View: Camille Grammer stopped by to sing the blues about her split from Kelsey, a visit that included this nugget: their sex life was about as vibrant as the petrified forest. Sizzling AARP hottie Babs Walters had a thing or two to say about C.G.'s apparently untappable booty.
One down, four to go.
2. The Real Housewives of Atlanta: Those of you who are about at the end of your rope with Kim's old boobs will be delighted to hear that she has new ones. And you better believe she's getting them road tested.
3. The Bachelor: Some girls will stop at nothing to win the attention of Brad Womack, but conniving Emily takes it to the limit, utilizing the old dead-fiance trick. And Alli's not afraid to bust her treacherous game wide open.
4. The Oprah Winfrey Show: Believe it or not, Oprah is now advocating a vegan diet. Which will probably last until someone plops a Big Mac down in front of her. But still, she's got an expert who will take you through the trauma of eating something with a face. What Stedman's take on that is is anybody's guess.
5. Live With Regis and Kelly: If you're like us, you completely respect the fine art criticism of Regis Philbin. And now he's uncovered the Kim Kardashian-Mona Lisa link the art world has been ignoring.