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    Lindsay Lohan Tests Positive for Cocaine, as Well as Some Other Stuff We Made Up

    Lindsay Lohan Devone Byrd/PacificCoastNews.com

    Lindsay Lohan was officially high on cocaine when she was pulled over for a DUI back in 2007. Yes, according to documents, Lindsay's urine tested positive for the devil's dandruff.

    But was that the only thing it tested positive for? Probably. But that's not going to stop us here at the Soup blog from pretending that it wasn't. Other things Lindsay's urine tested positive for include...

    Hydrogen peroxide
    Wilmer Valderritis
    Early Onset Middleageism
    Wilmer Valderrama
    Middle Onset Earlyageism
    Ebola
    The Parent Clap
    The Antidote to Ebola
    Daddy issues

    and...

    Urine

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    Scandalous, isn't it? There's more where that came from in this celebrity gallery.

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