And his two adorable victims.
You hate your family, no need to brag about it.
And those kids watching the show up front are definitely getting therapy later in life.
Seriously, there wasn't a better way to pose than this?
Someone in this photo has way too much time on their hands.
Most people grieve being single from the comfort of their couch and a bottomless gallon of ice cream. Not this guy. Nope. He wants everyone to know about it. Awesome.
Cautionary tale: Drinking a bottle of wine with your roommate can result in photos like these.
Especially when they give birth to each other.
We feel bad for the dog, mainly.
You know it's time to stop when you're taking style pointers from your 3-your-old self.