NOV. 21, 8PM
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Paul Morigi/Getty Images for Jingle Ball 2012

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An open thank you to Ke$ha, our favorite ghost-shagging, pant-hating acrobat who brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack. Because of her, we now know five things we should never, ever wear, even if we do end up living in the post-apocalyptic hellscape that Ke$ha already dresses for on the daily.

Like what? Hey, glad you asked.

Check out Ke$ha's glittery backside

Kesha, Socks

Josephine Santos,

1. Never wear socks out on the street. Even if you're partying at the Chateau Marmont. Yes, it's a very welcoming place, if you're rich and famous enough. But the Marmont is not your living room. Unless you're Lindsay Lohan. Because Lohan actually has lived at the Marmont.

Kesha, Ke$ha


2. Never wear an animal who's less feral than you are.

Kesha, Ke$ha, Tattoo

Jason Merritt/Getty Images; Twitter

3. Never put a tattoo on your inner lip. Why? Because it hurts, fool!

Kesha, Ke$ha

4. Never embed bling in your scalp. See item No. 3.

Ke$ha, Kesha

Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty Images

5. And no matter what, never, ever use a tar boiler as a makeup kit. Unless you're literally trying to look like 10 miles of bad road.