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    Alicia Keys’s Horseshoe Haircut in Germany: Gotta Have It or Make It Stop?

    Alicia Keys Dominik Bindl/Getty Images
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    Whenever Alicia Keys steps out of the jazzy love lair she shares with Swizz Beatz, we get all kinds of excited. So imagine our joy when we saw her wearing this David Koma dress on the set of a German TV show. Clearly that top was made by honeybees who were fed nothing but blue raspberry Kool-Aid for weeks. And that, dear friends, is what happens when you marry art with science.

    But then we took a good look at the hair and our mood fell.

    Speaking of hair, Miley Cyrus still has none

    The whole look—the cut, the length, the blowout—is making our left eye twitch. It's like some well-meaning lady from Sassy Cuts 'R' Us was like, "You're a hip mom, now, Alicia! Let's give you a hip-mom haircut!" And Alicia, feeling terribly sorry for this poor yokel with the scissors, just sat there and let her hair be cut into this limp, sad horseshoe shape.

    The saddest thing is, we would have no idea how to fix it. We loathe weaves, because weaves are for the weak and fearful, and we cannot in good conscience recommend a Rihanna cut for her.

    Unless we're totally wrong.

    Perhaps a Portia de Rossi is in order?

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