NOV. 21, 8PM
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Kesha, Socks

Josephine Santos,

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Hello, animal control? We're calling to report Ke$ha. She got loose again. Probably chewed through the bars on her crate.

Yes, we'll hold. [Three minutes later.] Yes, hello. Where is she, you ask? Running around outside the Chateau Marmont. [One minute later.] Yes, we mean Ke$ha. Right. As in the singer.

Yes, we'll hold.

Also, she's stepping on cats. Ha! That got your attention, didn't it? You suddenly don't feel like putting us on hold now, do you?

That's right. Ke$ha is using a pair of kittens as her personal, live footwear.

You'll send the wagon right over? Yeah. Thought so.