We have to assume that Gwyneth Paltrow is messing with us. She's worn cut-out dresses before. She's worn black before. But she's never stooped to wearing a Michael Kors gown that turned her into Miley Cyrus.
Maybe Gwynnie just wanted to highlight all the places where she keeps it tight, which is, thanks to her diet of organic grapefruit mist, everywhere.
Whatever The Goopster was thinking, she's The Goop. Miley only wishes she were her.
If it weren't so close to Halloween, we'd actually be worried.