RETURNS
MAY 23, 8PM
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Eva Longoria

Isaac Brekken/Getty Images, Courtesy: Denise Truscello/WireImage

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By now we're so sick of black and white outfits on celebs that we just want to grab a green Sharpie and go to town on Eva Longoria's dresses.

Wait, forget that, we'd get arrested if we came within five feet. Stupid restraining orders.

Maybe—well, let's think this out—maybe if we pelted her with mustard and tomatoes from a high vantage point, then took off in one of Tom Cruise's private collection of custom hang-gliders, then...yes. Yes, the plan is coming together now. People will just assume it's Nicollette Sheridan up there and we'll be free to fly to London and redecorate Gwen Stefani's fall wardrobe.

Mua-hahahaha! Excellent.