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AUG 29, 8PM
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Rita Ora

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Straight out of the Nicki Minaj School of Style and Taste comes Rita Ora, ready to prove she loves her fans more than any other hyper-coiffed power vocalist.

How can we tell?

Check out this indisputable popstar logic, y'all: Gwen Stefani wears sunglasses. Minaj wears sunglasses. Rihanna wears sunglasses. But when was the last time Minaj or Stefani or any of those fools spoke directly to you with their plastic accessories, hmmm?

Exactly, and so it is proven that those girls don't love you like Rita does, child. She is sending a message to you—and only you!—using the pure power of novelty eyewear.

And that message is, "Cross My Heart Hope To Die." Well, we don't know what the hell that message means. Maybe it's that she's superstitious. Maybe it's that she fears the evil eye.

Or maybe the message isn't for you at all. Maybe Rita's pissed off at Rob Kardashian after that go-karting date he had with RiRi over the weekend, and this is her promise to seek out sweet, sweet revenge.

All we can say with absolute certainty is this: Rita Ora is speaking to us with her sunglasses.

So, what do we want to say back? Gotta have it or make it stop?