RETURNS
NOV. 21, 8PM
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Scarlett Johansson

Splash; INFphoto.com

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You'll recall that Victoria Beckham recently stepped out at a water park wearing a black dress and a dolphin.

Now it seems that the fashion bar has been raised, at least when it comes to living, breathing accessories.

Behold Scarlett Johansson as she bathes her $20-million body on a yacht off the Italian coast, wrapped in both a bikini and a very attentive bodyguard...

For the record, we're told that the 27-year-old actress is still very much dating some advertising executive who is not this bodyguard. Still, ScarJo's human watchdog is so glued to her he may as well double as a bra cup.

I guess we're supposed to critique that bikini, so, fine—it's white and it's nice. But seriously, if that bodyguard were lying any closer to her he'd be a temporary tattoo shaped like a life-sized bodyguard.

OK, we're done now.