First, let's get this out of the way: Jennifer Lopez is wearing clothes.
Real clothes. Clothes that you can't see through, rip off, paint on or bling out with your own home Bedazzling kit. Clothes that require no double-sided tape to stay put, or winches and backhoes to remove.
Real pants: J.Lo is wearing them. Let that sink in. We were confused too. But you know what's an even bigger mystery? Why are those pants so big? And has anybody seen her boy-toy Casper Smart?
Technically, we're told, this outfit is labeled as a tracksuit. And as we draw closer (at our own risk) we can see why: The sparkly pants have a shiny drawstring. The bustier—well, OK, even Dennis Rodman never wore one of those—but the golden clown shoes do have sneaker-type laces.
There was even a mineral-crusted baton...cane...thing...involved for part of the "Dance Again" singer's performance, which took place in Brazil the other day.
Get this—during the singer's set, it started raining. Raining! And the clothes still stayed on.
Has the world gone mad?